Chinese Restaurants and Coping With Age

This is a difficult entry to write made easier by a sleep inspired revival of optimism. I usually refrain from direct comments about work, mindful of my employer's caution about the nature of social networking. I do not intend to stray far from my self-imposed rule but things have been difficult for me for a week following a lapse of concentration. The event and its consequences made me feel old, stupid and humiliated. None of these feelings, I should emphasise, was in any way reinforced by my colleagues. They instead have been endlessly supportive whilst noting that I myself increasingly recognise my own limitations. A period of supervision through a process which reflects well on my employer, was inevitably painful again through no fault of employer or immediate colleagues but rather because of the self-examination it invokes. It is behind me now and a range of options lie ahead. I shall return tomorrow to a role I love and colleagues I love more. I don't want to be remembered for ineptitude and failure and a course change may be necessary before the first starting gun is fired in Stratford. As in showbusiness, one is most remembered for ones last performance.

Such has been the intensity of my photography that I have been making much more use of my time off between shifts and resting less at times when I should be active. I am very grateful to Greg for driving me around to help me achieve my objectives. These remain 40,000 views on Flickr (approaching) and 5,000 Flickr posts (achievable well before year end). Many of my contributions are to groups I could not have imagined 18 months ago. I don't think I would ever have been motivated to photograph Chinese Restaurants and Takeaways but now I am acutely aware of the extraordinary proliferation of such establishments even in South Hampshire. Yesterday, I photographed more than I even realised at the time. As photogaphers or pedestrians, we should look up more. Doing just that also yesterday, led me to the image now at the head of this blog. I was thrilled too to see the arrival at Portsmouth of HMS Bulwark only 24 hours after seeing and photographing her at Marchwood. For a while now, I have been inspired by the contents of one book to move on to another and to explore further subjects or concepts raised by them. Now I am equally inspired by the interactions between photostreams in Flickr through my contacts. I am grateful to them for helping me with usability tips. Thorough captioning, adding text and tags increases my pleasure. My relationship with the internet though remains fragile. Computers and their mysteries frighten me. Whilst I want some sort of internet fame through my photographs, I am astonished and, occasionally, a little disturbed by where they end up. With my images protected from all but the computer super-literate, it is usually a link that travels around but I was taken aback to find my pictures of Devon and Cornwall police vehicles on a Newquay tourism/comedy club page. The number of views of some images is gratifying but also baffling.

It is perhaps disturbing too that I can be so pre-occupied with matters so inconsequential while Japan recovers from unexpected horror. It is a reflection on their preparedness and resilience that relatively few people died although I do not in any way diminish the deaths which did occur. It is easy to understand how to prepare for earthquakes but impossible to imagine how any nation could ever combat tsunami. If ever there was an irresistible force of nature it is the 10m wave bearing tens of millions of tons of water. If I were religious I would pray for Japan; as it is I'll just try to think of them.

In just over two weeks we shall fly to Los Angeles. For me it is always an exciting place to arrive and leave. It is my gateway to another life, a life lived in two week stretches. A life of loving Americans for their lifestyle and hating them for their ignorance and banality. A life of sunshine and palms lived by a mind and  body which misses rain after two weeks. This vacation will be a watershed. Whatever we think of the new management of Inndulge we shall take the opportunity to move back to the east coast in 2012. That assumes we shall be able to afford the fares; in fact it assumes we shall be able to afford to drive to the airport.

Good night and thank you Matt and David xx