S.A.D

It is many years since I confirmed definitively and through personal experience, the existence of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). This is a difficult time of the year to lift oneself and today was a very good example of a day on which it is difficult to do so.

I wish I could rely more on the BBC weather forecast. The presentations on both news channels and online are ludicrously inaccurate and volatile. On bbc.co.uk the weather is tuned to my postcode and shows supposedly a 72hr forecast. This invariably changes within the 72 hrs displayed at any given moment and frequently within the first 24hrs of that period. What happens in reality is another thing altogether. When a TV forecaster tells you on a Friday night what is going to happen next Friday it is laughable. This is padding in a broadcast which cannot be relied on for even 48hrs; they have absolutely no idea what will happen in one week.

It is not possible then to plan with confidence for activity or inertia. For one who values both personal comfort and photographic opportunities this is a critical deficiency. When the highlight of a day is to brave the weekend crowds at ASDA, it is not a day which will fill much of a page in a diary. Inevitably, the psycho-adrenalin of a wonderful holiday ebbs and the next seems far away. To have the sunshine taken from your life as is almost daily in the monotonous monochrome of northern hemisphere winter is to have slivers pared from your soul. The days are skewed so that if you choose to start slowly the day sweeps by you and, as your spirits lift to something approaching motivation, the dusk of another long night veils hope and happiness.

There are of course indoor activities but I am not inclined to watch TV or even stay online for pointless hours. I should say though that I am grateful for many things; the eternal and comforting presence of my boyfriend, the existence of my very special friends however distant, the privileges of my everyday life and the prospect of the next holiday. So for now I am SADdenned but it will take more than December to extinguish my light.